With Big Risks, Come Mixed Feelings
"I know I made the right choice."
That was my mantra when all of my teaching friends in New York went back to work and I had no home to belong to.
It was the first year I was able to stay home, cook my son a proper breakfast on his first day and then drive him to his new school without needing to rush so I could make it to my job on time.
Throughout the day, however, I struggled with my choice to walk away from my leadership position. I missed the people I worked with and the job I was doing.
But just because there were emotions, doesn't mean that I made a mistake. I suspect this new situation is going to bring up a lot of feelings that can vary daily, sometimes hourly.
Sometimes when I don't know what is going to happen, although I stay positive most of the time, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a gremlin in my head who creeps in and makes me worry. All of the "what ifs" get stirred up and I'm left worrying instead of enjoying the wonderful unknown.
Working in a school is a gift. I loved teaching for my entire career and when I left the classroom, I missed the kids. I wondered if I made the right choice and I believe I did and now is the same thing.
There will be time to settle into this routine and become a better me, despite being overwhelmed and a little afraid, I know that if I trust my experience, ask questions and practice, I'm going to be okay.
Getting good at something takes time and we can't rush it. So for today, I'm making a schedule, studying up and getting back on my bike (literally and metaphorically).
When was the last time you tried something new? What emotions arose and how did you overcome them? Please share